Ask Jules: All About Confidence

Some of the bravest emails I receive come from people who, ironically, aren’t feeling very confident. On some level, we are all at least a little insecure about something. Whether it’s physical, mental, fear based, or otherwise, nobody on the planet is 100% confident on every level — and that’s okay! The important thing is that we work hard to accept ourselves for who we are, and allow ourselves to make mistakes. I think the best way to battle our fears and anxieties is to be positive, and above all else be kind to ourselves.

If you signed up for my newsletter, you already saw one of my favorite Ask Jules questions and my response for Haley. If you haven’t yet (what are you waiting for?!?!) you can see it here.

Hi Jules,

Firstly, I would love to say that you are my daily inspiration. You and your positivity keep me going when I am at my lowest and weakest. My question is, how do you remain so positive? Through everything you have been through, you still manage to smile, carry on and help others. Can you give me any advice or helpful tips to overcome the barriers of living with anxiety and barriers associated with being 18 and at Uni?

Much love,


You actually wrote my answer before I had a chance to respond! My not so secret weapon for staying positive is to smile, carry on and help others. Happiness and optimism is very much a choice. Even when things aren’t so great, there is still a reason to smile, and I refuse to allow myself to wallow in something negative or sad — at least not for very long. I try to feel my feelings, process the situation and then move on from it.

Helping someone else have a good day is the best way I know how to improve my mood. Even if it’s simply saying hi to a stranger or giving someone a compliment, knowing I’ve lifted their spirits in turn lifts mine.


Hi Jules,

You are such an inspiration for me when it comes to fashion, lifestyle and dancing! I am 16 years old from England, and I am really self conscious about my height — I’m 4’11″!

My height really gets me down because everyone my age (and younger than me) is taller than me! People talk to me in a really patronising way, and when I met people for the first time, they always comment on my size.

I know I can’t change my height, but do you have any “height-appreciation” tips? I feel like it gets in the way of everything! Also, do you think it will get in the way of me finding a dance partner? I’m a Latin American dancer as well!

Many thanks and best wishes,


While I’m aware being short has its disadvantages, you have to admit there are plenty of pros, too! No heels are ever too tall — and speaking of, stores almost always have smaller shoe sizes in stock, whereas the more common sizes are sold out. Dresses and skirts are rarely too short, airplane seats are much more spacious (a big bonus), people are more inclined to give you an extra hand, the list goes on and on!

I also rely on fashion to help me appear taller, which can sometimes give me an extra boost of confidence. You can see my stylist Anita Patrickson’s tips for the “vertically challenged” here.

As far as people being patronizing, that just means they’re underestimating you — and you can use that to your advantage! It gives you the opportunity to show them what you’re made of and truly blow them away.


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Comments 5

  1. Jules, I think we need a love button on the blog, so that we can LOVE your blogposts.

    As I absolutely love this one and I can totally relate to Kyra on this one, I want to say thank you to everyone who sends in and to you when you answer them. You are an inspiration and even though I don’t know you personally, you feel like my best friend.

  2. Thanks for always being an inspiration and helping others with their problems! Confidence is one thing I need to work on and you always help with that!

  3. Julianne, my daughter is graduating high school and will be an alum of Alta Dance Company, Alta High school in Utah…she tried out for a performing arts school and was accepted for Dance in New York, but will be attending the LA campus for now…what advice can you give her to keep her confidence and to keep persuing her dreams of choreography and dance?

  4. First to say how much I love your work ” all of them ” , especially the song ” you you you” the greatest source of inspiration for me to write one of the most incredible scenes of my book ” Obsessed” and of course , the main character of the story it is also inspired by you.
    Loved this space to talk about overcoming , well, here in Brazil is very difficult for a writer able to publish a book , things do not go well, ” politically ” , that is making this dream ever more distant for a large number of anonymous writers , but I’m proud to say that will not give up my goal. Once done with love, no work will be in vain , one day I will have my books published. Willpower and ideas is not missing me .

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