Ask Jules: How To Get Along

All relationships can be difficult at times, especially ones you’d rather avoid like the one with your obnoxious co-worker. I like to look at these situations as tests of my character. I aim to always be the bigger person, a good friend, a professional, but the truth is, it takes work. The great news about the work we put in to how we connect with others is it can be very rewarding for everyone involved.

Hi,
Recently I got in a fight with my best friend who recently told me he was gay and I’m not sure how to help him. He is in a dark place now. Any advice on how I can help him get through this tough time?

Savannah

Savannah,
Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone is be present and be positive. Sounds like your best friend could really use his best friend’s support right now. Be the light when he’s in a dark place. Meaning, pull him out of his funk in any way you
can! Plan a movie night complete with his favorite snacks and a really funny movie or go do something silly (roller skating, paintball) to take his mind off anything that is stressing him out. If he wants to talk about what he’s going through, listen, be kind, and give him tons of love because that’s what best friends do!

xo
Jules

Hi Jules,

My name is Michela, I’m a sophomore in high school and I’ve been working at this restaurant for some years now and there’s this coworker who I can’t stand to work with. I don’t know what to do anymore. My mom keeps telling me that later in life I
am going to have to learn how to work with the people I hate. I don’t have any clue how to do that so do you have any advice? Thanks so much and miss having you as a judge!

Michela,
Don’t be mad at me for saying this, but, you’re mom is so right! There will always be somebody who drives you nuts somewhere in your life. Is it possible to find one or two good qualities in this coworker that you can appreciate? Take this situation as a personal challenge to rise above the negativity you’re taking on. When he does something that drives you crazy, take a deep breath, refocus on something positive, and if you feel it’s best, walk away to get some space. Try your best not to exude bad energy by rolling your eyes, making a mean comment, gossiping, or doing anything that would make you any less awesome. Remember, you can’t change other people but you can change yourself.

xo
Jules

Are there any readers out there with advice for Savannah or Michela? Please share!

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Comments 3

  1. Hi everyone, this post is really ringing a bell to me ! I have experienced both of these situations and here are my advices to you (sorry for my pour English, I am french).

    Hello Savannah,
    My brother recently went to the exact same thing as your best friend. No matter how the society have recently changed about homosexuality, it is still a very hard thing to go through. My own parents grew up in a time when being gay was a crime. They always said ther would be okay if one of their children turned out to be gay but there really were not. My brother and I aren’t really closed but I was probally the only person that could understand how he felt about my mom’s rejection. What did I do about that ? First I told him how okay I was with him being gay (and glad too for having my very own gay best friend !) and how proud I was of him for being so brave. Then I talked to my mom and told her to suck it up and at least pretend she was supportive of her son because he needed it. And finally, I tried to be that beacon of light in brother’s life. I took him and our younger sister into a trip to Italy and then to Ireland and whenever I can, I take him with me to parties or events. His friends did the same things. He was doing better for a bit but he is now again in a bad place because his boyfirend cheated on him. And I intend to do the exact same things again. Truely, I wish he didn’t have to go through all this but it brought us closer than ever and I am proud of myself for having a good reaction about that situation.
    I hope you’ll be able to do the same things for your friend and I hope he will let you be there for him. Don’t ever let him send you away : be a real boomerang !

    Hello Michela,
    As Jules said it, you mom is right. Jules’ advices are perfect but I think something is missing : have you ever wondered why you co-worker is acting in a way you can’t bear ? Maybe something is up in is personnal life. Maybe he knows he is anoying you but he doensn’t know what to do about it. Sometimes talking is the best way to solve problems. I have recently realised that most of the poeple I couldn’t stand at first turned into really good friends. I just needed to understand them and once they felt I was being kind and opened to them, they totally changed their acting and turned into really nice people. I thnik it always worth it to be kind to people : you can have good surprises and you can only make the wolrd a better place !

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