Ask Jules vol. 5

This week I decided to focus on answering emails having to do with confidence and uncertainty. I hope their questions and my answers inspire you in some way! Thank you to everyone who continues to write me. I love connecting with you all!

Hi Julianne,
My name is Celine and first of all I just wanted to tell you that you are such an inspiring person and one of the best dancers in the world! 🙂 You really inspire me to follow my passions and be the best person that I can be. I don’t want this email to be too long, so my question is how do you manage stressful situations? I’m not good in handling stress and maybe you have some advice 🙂

Lots of love from Germany and I hope you have a lovely day. ♡

Celine

Celine,
Stress is the worst, isn’t it? If only there was a stress switch we could flip on and off to manage it. The best way I know to deal with stress is to deal and distract. By dealing, I first write down a list of what’s overwhelming me. Somehow seeing things spelled out in front of me helps them seem more manageable. Second, I add action notes below each item. What can I do to remedy this stressful situation? When I begin crossing each item off as I address the list I start to feel on top of things and
therefore less stressed.

Positive distraction is another great way to give your mind a breather. I’ll go for a hike or hit up an exercise class. Start a project or entertain myself with a tv show or movie. This is of course just a temporary reprieve so be sure to follow it up by dealing with what is stressing you out.

Hope that helps!

xo
Jules

Julianne,
First I just wanna say you’re super pretty!! Okay, so I’m 17 and I play baseball and football for my high school and I even started my own band. I was told that I’ll never be a pro athlete or a famous musician. I’ve been told all of this since I was in middle school. So what do you think I should do? Quit everything or prove that I can be #1 and overcome everyone?

Michigan Fan

Michigan Fan,
I’m pretty sure you know what I’m going to say but perhaps you just need to hear it, so here it goes: YES, PROVE THEM WRONG! The only person who needs to believe in you is YOU.

Almost everyone I have worked with in the entertainment industry has heard “no” more times than they can count along the way to success but they keep going for it. My fiancĂ© Brooks certainly wasn’t born with a free pass to play professional hockey. He worked incredibly hard to get to where he is because he believed he could.

Only one thing is for certain: you will never know if you don’t try! So work hard, stay dedicated, and believe in you. Prove it to yourself!

xo
Jules

Hi Julianne,

Firstly I would like to say I’m a big fan. I read some of the questions you have on your website and I saw you mentioned that to ask a girl out you should be confident. Thats where I mess up. I always play out these scenarios in my head and end up not talking to the girl. If you have any confidence building tips or any advice at all please share?

Regards,
Tiaan

Tiaan,
Sometimes having confidence begins with exuding confidence. By standing tall with your shoulders back, using a strong and steady voice and preparing what you’re going to say, you’ll feel confident and she’ll definitely notice.

If she doesn’t go for it, think of it as great practice for the next one. Don’t psych yourself out by playing out the scenarios! That will only amplify your nerves. Instead, psych yourself up by wearing something that makes you feel cool, know what you’re going to say, and remember that you’re a great guy.

You got this!

xo
Jules

Julianne,
Hi! I just want to start by saying I admire the way you are living life. Your friendships, your relationships, your adventures, I love living vicariously through your Instagram and your blog has amazing tips.

My question for you is, is it okay to start dating a guy when you aren’t sure how you feel about him? I date all the wrong guys all the time, and now I’ve met a guy who is perfect on paper and wants to date me, but I feel no spark. Should I give it a chance anyway?

Thanks!!
Felicia

Felicia,
I have two parts to this answer:

1. Sometimes the spark shows up later. I say go out with this guy a few times and take it very slow. See if your feelings develop after spending some time together. Give the guy a chance!

2. If the sparks aren’t happening during or after those dates don’t try to force it. Otherwise you’ll be settling and leading him on, and that’s not cool for either one of you.

Good luck!

xo
Jules

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