Let’s Stop Telling Borrowed Stories

The other day, I was grabbing a tea to go when I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation between two girls in line behind me. One friend said to the other, “Oh, how is Jen? Is she still with that guy?” The girl paused for a moment then said, “She’s not.” When pressed for more information, she squashed the topic by saying, “I don’t want to tell her story. It’s not mine to tell, you know?” I love that.

Gossip doesn’t always have to equate to meanness. It’s simply talking about other people’s business. Even if there wasn’t any drama behind their friend’s breakup, it’s her story. I will be honest sometimes I’ll catch myself telling other people’s stories. “Did you hear she got a new job?” “She told me she’s chopping off all her hair!” “He has been crushing on that girl for months.”

This is all pretty innocent information — but it’s not my info to give. I’m going to make a conscience effort inspired by the non-gossip girls and use their line next time someone wants the scoop: It’s not my story to tell.

Let’s all give this one a try?

What do you think about gossip? Do you and your friends have a policy?

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Comments 25

  1. I love that response! I will definitely be using it from now on. My biggest problem is dealing with a dishonest manipulative coworker whose in a position of power. I don’t know how to handle it because this coworker retaliates in ways that affect my work and she’s really chummy with the boss .. do you have any suggestions? I would be extremely grateful!

  2. Hmm, I think many of us have to re-think their behaviour. The Girls’ reaction was pretty cool.
    I think I can adapt that especially at work, where this micro cosmos exists which uses gossip as its own currency.

  3. Nice pic honey,, My motto is’ if you dont have anything good to say about someone’ say nothin, simple.Well’ off to concert’ ‘ campin over nite there with some chicks. See you tommorow honey. Have fun in virginia ! I use to live in VA beach’ nice.! Love xoxoxo

  4. Love this… I have been trying to do the kindness challenge and encouraging my daughters to do the same. It made an amazing difference in our household but somehow life gets crazy, and we fell off and we been having hard time starting the ball rolling again. Please post more things like this!

  5. I love this idea Jules. Here is a poem my grandpa wrote about it:

    “I have broken many hearts, injured millions of reputations beyond repair; once loosed, no one has the power to stay my stinging, relentless assault. without compassion I destroy both innocent and guilty alike. I AM GOSSIP!” J.M. Gibby

  6. It’s an interesting idea but I think it depends. I don’t mind people telling my stories so long as I didn’t ask them to keep it private. I think it really comes down to the content of the “gossip”. In the world of Facebook, Twitter, and instagram it’s so easy to gossip in a negative way and this type of gossip has no place in my life. But boasting about a friend’s accomplishment, telling a friend someone else got their hair cut, those kinds of things don’t bother me or my friends. However, I do believe it is always good to be conscientious of what one says, words do matter and once spoken cannot be taken back.

  7. Can you please do a tutorial or tell us how you did your hair in the photo above! It’s so pretty and fun and I’m dying to know how you did! Please! Thanks xx

  8. I think it’s best to make the judgment about what you say by always asking yourself, “Would I still say this if it was posted in a newspaper/magazine with my name next to it for the world to see?” It helps weed out the gossip you know you should really have no part in.

  9. I really love this post. Thank you for pointing this out. I think it’s very easy to fall down the rabbit hole of telling other people’s stories. I live in Minnesota and often times many people will ask you about your family. They want you to tell them how your family is doing or what they are up to. Why? Because they don’t get to see everyone and they happened to run into you. You can catch them up. I say that because it is really easy to gossip about your family but I’m going to make a conscience effort to not divulge. Thanks.

  10. I totally agree with you, sometimes they might seem innocent but it can be just the begging of a big storm. Personally, I don’t like talking about others personal life, because I know the harm I can make and I’ve been in the eye of the hurricane more than once and I don’t wish this kind of ‘attention’ to anybody. When gossiping with my bff we try to focus more in OUR problems and OUR secrets, but you know, it’s all about trust, everything we say stays there, our conversations are like Las Vegas, “What happens there… Stays there.”

  11. You are absolutely right. I don’t do it often but I will try to think about your words now when I am about to. Not my story!

  12. My best friend and I met in high school (when drama is all the rage 😉 ) and one of the things I loved about her then and still do to this day is that she never tells over what she hears. As she says, we have better things to do with our time then to talk about other people and whats going on in their lives. It’s one of the reasons I have so much respect for her. As someone once told me ‘dont tell over anything you dont want people to hear, and if you do tell it over then expect it to become public’. I think its very easy to gossip about others, but what can help prevent us is to put ourselves in the position of the one being spoken about. Everyone knows what its like to be talked about, and how difficult that is, especially if the gossip isn’t true. If we put ourselves in the other person’s shoes we might think twice before saying it.

    1. Someone told me not to tell people anything I wouldn’t post on a billboard. That was long before the internet too. Everyone has a story. Let them tell it. There are plenty of other very important topics of conversation that can be the focus in any conversation.

  13. I LOVE HOW YOU WROTE ABOUT SUCH INTERESTING AND POSITIVE STORIES! I honestly love you sooooo much and I look up to you as a role model! Your amazing and I also meet you yesterday in Boston at the show and you are so nice!!! I love you!!!

  14. you raise some wonderful points. how inspiring! side note, love that you’re growing out your hair; looking stunning.

  15. Agree with the girl below me, I want your hair!!! Please share on how it was done? Pretty pretty gurl!

  16. I love this idea and I am definitely going to use it. It is always better to get the story ‘from the horses mouth’ as they say, in my opinion. Not only do you get the facts, but it would probably avoid a lot of misunderstandings. Great idea!!

  17. OMG I USED THAT LINE THE OTHER DAY TO SOMEONE AND THEY SAID!! “Oh but it’s not gossip” But all that kept going through my head was, it’s not my business/or hers for me to tell her what’s up!! I feel so at ease when reading this blog Julianne you truly inspire me to be the best version of myself I can be <3

  18. That’s a good plan. Don’t be surprised when some of your “friends” get upset by that. It is better to do the right thing, the right way even if someone looking for fodder for the pile might be upset by it.

  19. That was a very insightful post Jules! Making the world a better place doesn’t have to be something complicated, it can be something small but significant like trying not to gossip and share info that could otherwise hurt people. I can’t wait for your next posts! 🙂
    Xoxo from Brazil! 😉

  20. That’s completely right and true, Jules!! We shouldn’t be spreading rumors anywhere we go and we definitely shouldn’t be telling other people’s business. People at my school would tell rumors back and forth about other people. Sometimes, the rumors are about my friends or about me about my hair. I’ve learned that it’s better to do the right thing and don’t start rumors and don’t make them even bigger. It makes me not to start rumors and tell other people’s business especially when it comes to my family and friends. You don’t want to embarrass them and make them feel bad.

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