Calling All Kind Hearts!

I’ve been receiving countless letters from readers who are having a hard time being bullied. Peta’s ex-boyfriend is bullying her at school, yelling horrible things about her in class. The other dancers in Brit’s class intimidate her to the point where she has stopped dancing. Marissa’s girl friends turned on her and now they are trying to make her school life miserable. Sadly, this is all so common.

Most of us have been in their shoes at some point in our life. I’d love for you to share your story, and leave supportive messages for these friends of ours in the comments below.

How did you get past being bullied? How did you stay strong? Who did you turn to? If you ever feel like you are in danger, please see a school counselor or tell another adult you trust immediately. You are important!


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Comments 23

  1. I was also bullied in school ,but not so bad as some kids expirience it today,or i guess it wasnt to me,cause my family always told me to ignore them.Which is exactly what i did.Maybe it sounds hard to do ,but you should realise that those people are not worth your time or your tears.Once they see that you dont care if they annoy you or not ,and when they see that they dont have an impact on you ,they will stop.Dont waste your time and health being sad beacuse of those people.You should focus on what you want with your life and do it .

  2. Hey Jules, I am a VERY expressive person. Some people call me the female
    version of Jim Carey because basically I can make all those faces and
    more. People constantly make fun of me and don’t realize that is just a
    part of me. Those type of people are not worth being around especially
    when they start influencing your personality….. I’m an outgoing, loud
    and fun type of person if you don’t like it, you can leave 😉 I just
    want everyone to know that no matter what type of person you are, just
    please be yourself. I cannot stress that enough! Someone out there, even
    if it is just one person, will love the way you are. Love you <3

  3. Bullying is very real and it is horrible. I am a senior in high school, but all throughout elementary school I was bullied about my appearance. And it has made me really insecure now. But, it has gotten so much better, to the point where the bullying is gone. The biggest advice I can give is to kill them with kindness. Because if you are kind and sweet to everybody, no one has any reason to bully you, and if they do, they automatically look like the one in the wrong. Good luck!

  4. I am in my last year of college and one thing I can tell you is girls can be catty. I don’t understand why and I hope with enough kindness that this can change! But in my experience with people trying to make me feel down about myself for whatever reason, I encourage you to really look at who you surround yourself with. Surround yourself with people who bring you up, not down. I know it’s hard at school when these people are inescapable but remember that people often say rude things when they are insecure. It helps put things into perspective because I have moments where I feel insecure and it does not feel good. I try to remember that and just be kind to the person because thats all there is to do. If it gets serious always seek help from your mom or dad or even a counselor and by all means stand up yourself when necessary but try to remember that you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life and look forward to the future! Keep those who love and support you no matter what close! and remember how thankful you are to have them in your life!

  5. Dear ones,
    Being bullied is a common point to everyone of us all over the world. there has been several times that i’ve been bullied by people during my journey whether it was in Junior High, High school or even now in college… People use to call me names because of the size of my head : Big Head, Big hole,.. Stupid names i remember that i was crying every time when i get home going to the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror seeing if i was a normal person or a freak. For most of the time i’ve always thought about myself as a freak teenager. seeing myself as an ugly beast i was a solitary person i didn’t have friends or could talk to someone till my mum saw me crying one day & when she knew she told me : ” Poor Baby girl, You are wrong, u’re not a freak . You have no idea how powerful you are mostely how beautiful you are. People doesn’t know that you are the smartest person . their visions are too blur to the point that they are all washed up by negativity. Who talks that way, is actually describing himself without being aware of his own nature.Or they simply express their fear thru bulling. You are more than what you think you are & with time, u’ll all figure it out.” She just simply gave me confidence as she was sending me positive energy. So, she told me to ignore them & live my life, follow my dreams. She was the reason of my strenght, my reason to succed in everylevel even in college when my teachers used to bully me by humiliating me everytime in class that i’ll never succed & i’ll never be a moviemaker. or a great artist and deep down, I fought that negative energy by my mum’s talk carrying her speach with me. Developping my self confidence. Focusing on what’s good for me so here i’m, at my last year working on my very first project that i’ll publish next year .
    So sweetpies, remember, each one of us has an amazing strenght charged with great light that can blind all those viruses. if a girl is trying to make your school life miserable fight it, fight it with your works & your dreams. she maybe is ur fan after all. cuz she’s jealous of your success & your light Marissa. remember you are beautiful & Powerful. & Peta if you’re ex bf is bullying you is just because he doesn’t have what it takes to be a real gentleman. My ex did bully me over 4 years & my silence was my only weapon. When he got tired, he simply start apologizing cuz “KARMA IS A BITCH” , everything that he did , it cameback on him so hard & very painful. & you Brit, You don’t have to stop. NO continue, Look at julianne, maybe one day you’ll be like her in the buiseness & very succesful. or Maddy Sia’s Dancer if u know her. Fight for your dreams. Girls are only a viruses . Live your life i want to see you dancing. I want to hear about you participating in competitions or in show’s LIVE .
    In piece of conclusion, i guess what i’m trying to say. Positive always wins. Please Follow your dreams & your craziness. You are all artists. kisses from Morocco.

  6. I was bullied from 5th grade (as the new girl in school) through High School by the same girl. It was awful! I did what I could to avoid any contact which was fairly easy as she was in the “in crowd” and I happily was not! It was hard and I was constantly fighting off rumors…it was a hard time for sure.
    I learned a lot of how I deal with life now, from those years. It’s hard to remember at the time but it doesn’t last forever!
    Now as an adult, unfortunately I’ve had to deal with bullies in the workplace. I step back and remind myself that “hurt people, hurt people” and o say a little prayer for that person and whatever they might be going through. It usually helps. My last experience I didn’t fight back but just kept the kindness going and prayed for that person every time we would have an interaction…slowly, that person backed off and it was much better.
    Don’t give up…it doesn’t last forever!

  7. I was bullied online during high school. I tried my best to not let it affect me and I did a good job, until the girl who was bullying me was in the same class as me during my senior year. I felt so uncomfortable and she started to find quiet, mysterious, and subtle ways to intimidate me while we were in class. I felt like I was being watched. I finally confided in my teacher for that class, and she helped me through it. That was almost 4 years ago, and I am still in contact with my teacher and she has become my mentor. My advice for those who are being bullied right now..please know that these people who bully you cannot have any power over you. You hold the power. Show them that you are better and won’t submit to their hateful tendencies. They want to get a reaction out of you. It’s completely normal to feel hurt, but instead of reacting to them, talk to a trusted adult. It gets better, I promise, and remember, you are loved and beautiful and nobody can take away your shine! Xoxo
    Love always, Danielle

  8. I am being bullied at the moment by my really mean roommate at college. She leaves me notes around the room telling me how mean I am and how I am not a good person. On the beginning I thought it was something that I was doing, but I soon realized that it isn’t me, it’s her. I now just ignore her and don’t give her the pleasure of being right because I know in my heart that I am a nice person and that’s all that matters. I started going to the psychologist that my college offers and she agrees with me. Talking to people always helps. But always remember that nobody except for yourself can give you the power to feel a certain way. Be confident in who you are and don’t worry about the bullies because only bad people bring people down.

  9. I was also bullied in school for being overweight!! I got through it with lots of prayers and my mom she is the greatest gift god ever gave me beside my kids!!! I am so sorry you guys are being bullied, but just remember you are beautiful no matter what anyone says!!!! God made you the way he wanted you to be, and you are perfect in his eyes!!! God bless each and everyone of you!!!!

  10. When you get bullied it stays with you forever. I am so glad you have touched base on this so people can vent and know it is alright to share their story.

  11. I have not been bullied at school luckily but of course had my own struggles! I would say to those who are going through a tough time that everything will be okay in the end! Don’t give up on yourselves and do NOT let others tell you hurtful things! We are all special in our own ways and it’s okay if we are all different! As Jules said, ask for help! Turn to you parents, or teachers, or someone you trust! I’m open to everyone who needs advice! Hope I could help! Have a nice day everyone ??

  12. To all,
    Bullying is far too common in our society and is something that many people face, especially youth and young adults. I am currently a young adult in college and can empathize with all of you who have been emotionally, physically, or cyber bullied. Just last year I was cyber bullied by an ex boyfriend. He sent me countless hate messages, which included telling me that no one likes me, I will never be loved, and that I should kill myself. While you are being bullied you may feel alone, helpless, depressed, etc. I urge you to remember that these people don’t truly know you. Most likely they have their own issues in their lives that are causing them to be mean and hurtful. While this doesn’t excuse their behavior, it allows us to have a different perspective on their actions and how we respond to those actions. You can only control your thoughts and actions. The best way to end bullying is to have compassion, and to create awareness of bullying and the harmful effects on not only the victims but the perpetrators as well.
    Please remember that you are all KIND, SMART, and IMPORTANT.

  13. Thanks for your fab site! Love your work! I was not bullied but my brother was many years ago. (we are grownups now!) I want to be a source of joy and laughter in the world! So I just want to tell anyone feeling “less than” to never believe people’s ugly words. I believe this world is a big puzzle and you are an important piece! You matter sooo much because only you can shine in the puzzle picture the way you were born to shine!” So please don’t believe the negative words from insecure people who have lost their way, and shine babies shine!

  14. I was bullied a few years ago to the point where I had stopped eating and was terrified to come to school. I never left that building without some form of injury, whether it was something as small as a few pinch marks or a badly sprained ankle. Their words hurt just as much though. In fact, I don’t think they ever called me by my actual name. I found that the best way to fight bullying is to speak up. They want you to stay quiet and scared, but you can’t let them win that battle. I started sharing my experience through a club in my school, and not only did I make some new (and kind) friends, but I was also able to help other kids to speak out against bullies. You can’t ever let them take your confidence and happiness away. To anybody out there who is being bullied, you aren’t alone. Stay strong <3

  15. It’s tough to hear or read about bullying. I was bullied twice in my lifetime, in elementary and in high school but the one that sticks out the most for me was being approached in the school yard in 4th grade and a group of girls saw me alone and befriended me. One of the girls invited me to get on the seesaw and in that moment I was happy because someone spoke to me and were making me feel like part of their group of friends. I remembered I sat on the seesaw and the girl sat on the other end of it, once it was my turn to go up, the girl I got off the seesaw and I slammed down to the ground. She walked away laughing with the other girls and all I could do was cry, I got up wiped away my tears and walked away. I don’t remember complaining to anyone just dealt with it. In high school I had gum thrown at my hair. In both situations I dealt with it in silence but it did affect me inside. It affected me in where I didn’t want to have or seek having friends, it was a trust issue but then I thought life would be boring and will miss out on meeting wonderful people who can be kind and genuine. I let it go, that’s how I handled it just let it go. I am a spiritual person even always felt this way at a young age and honestly that helped me. I know it’s not easy for others just letting it go but trust when you walk away from it and don’t let it stick you become the better and stronger person. Always remain positive and trust and believe it does and will get better 🙂
    Hope this helps in anyway <3

  16. I was lucky enough to not be bullied when I was younger, I made an amazing core group of friends as soon as I started in middle school and we are still best friends, over a decade later. My experience came later on, not until college. Unfortunately mine is also with people I believed to be my friend. They would try to undercut my confidence/lower my self-esteem all in an effort to feel better about themselves. They would do this by telling me over and over that I’m not smart, I’m stupid, I’m ditzy, I’m scatterbrained, etc or they would pick at my appearance, like if I had a rushed morning and so I didn’t realize that my hair was doing something crazy. Most often though it was my intelligence or youthful appearance that was scrutinized. These comments didn’t usually get to me, but eventually when you hear something enough times, it starts resonate. I do have great difficulty focusing in controlled environments (like the classroom), I often drift off into la la land or just go blank for a few seconds, I lose focus or forget what I’m saying part way through a sentence, and when I’m bored I get very stir crazy and tend to wander, and I usually get mistaken for a high school freshman even though I have graduated college (like I’m 23 going on 15); given all this, I started to give merit to all the comment people would say, setting aside the facts I knew like my 4.0 GPA, all my grades coming back A, my professors praising my performance, or people giving random compliments. Unfortunately the negative comments tend to be like a loud echo, especially from peers and friends, and the positive tend to be pushed back and disregarded even when they are more plentiful. The best advise I can give is to do what I did – take some time to yourself, consider where all the negative is coming from and then think of all the positive and where that is coming from, then after “me time” talk to someone you trust and that has always been a positive influence on your life; other people are pretty good at putting stuff in perspective. Through my experience I considered a lot about myself and it made me a stronger person, I reminded myself that I love being a total nerd who loves showing crazy obsessive affection toward all things i love (I am a love, hate, or indifferent kind of person), I wear dresses because I feel pretty and am too lazy for pants, I don’t often wear makeup because again I am LAZY and like the way I look without it. I found that it is important to remind yourself all the time that the only opinion that matters, the only person that needs to like you, is you. If you are happy with who you are, that is all that matters. Just try to make yourself happy, impress yourself, CONFIDENCE IS SEXY! Also, take personal, alone, me time, get away from all the people and clear your head for a bit, it is amazing what shutting the world out for even a few hours can do for your emotional/mental health. I like to take a bubble bath and watch Reservoir Dogs or The King and I, but that is just my usual monthly ritual – basically do something, at least once a month, that makes you happy.

  17. What helps me the most when people put me down is to LOVE THEM! Those people have it harder than you think and they don’t know how to react to life! I know its easy to think “No, they’re just like that” but there is ALWAYS something I promise. They don’t expect you to love them and when you do, it can literally change their life! Pray for them, serve them, just be kind, whatever is your way, but do it and you will have empathy, compassion and itll not only change their life but also yours 🙂

  18. Bullies are everywhere and will be every where your entire life. For me I was bullied from the first day of school in elementary school to the last day of my junior year. I was bullies by a group of girls, because to them I was not what they defined as beautiful. The bullying consisted of insults, mocking, and aggressiveness. My saving grace was talking to my parents, with the help of my parents we were able to take action by talking to a cousoler, and principal. With the help of these people the bullies were stopped and my senior year was the best.

    Always remember that you are one of a kind and beautiful. You were created in the unique and perfect and no one should make you feel other wise.

  19. I don’t think you can really call that being bullied but I’ve been taking dance lessons since I was 6 and there was this group of older dancers that use to intimidate me a lot, they would whisper everytime I would come near them or laugh whenever I danced. One day, I Heard one of them saying to her friends that my face looked like the face of a Wolf. I was just a kid so now I wouldn’t mind, but back then it felt mean and it hurt. And one day, as I was getting older, I was moved into their dance group. And I cried. A lot. But I still went, and it was Hell! I missed the friends I had in my former group and felt all alone and excluded. So after a year of feeling extremely bad whenever I knew I had to go there, I just stopped going. During an entire year when I was 15 I just stopped dancing. And I hated it even more. I’m not a professional dancer and I will never be one, but to me dancing is important. It makes me feel good and alive. It’s what I like to do, and stopping during this entire year not only made me angry at those girl for making me quit but I also felt mad at myself for letting them win over my passion for dance. So I decided to be strong and to prove them wrong and the year I turned 16, I went back. Most importantly, I went back with a smile on my face, even when I felt like I wanted to cry and get out of there, I just kept smiling and dancing because I knew it would piss them off to see that I didn’t care. And it did, and eventually I won and they stopped whispering and laughing. Plus, that same year, a guy joined our group and since he was the only guy and he was the yongest one ( 16, just like me) he also felt kind of excluded. So we would just stay together and dance lessons became fun again. Now, he’s one of my best friends because I guess we both had to fight to be able to dance, we understand each other.
    My point here is that you have to stand up in front of your bullies, you can’t let them stop you from doing what you wanna do even if it’s hard. It will only make you stronger ! And maybe just like for me, something good will come out of it!
    With lots of love from Paris,

  20. It all turned bad in 7th grade. We weren’t all very close anymore and the cliques emerged. I had always been close to about everyone in my small class of 20, but had a particularly close group of 4 girlfriends. Misty had joined our class the previous year and we became exceptionally close! Then all of a sudden in 7th grade she stopped talking to us and buddied up with the ‘popular girls.’ It stung. Everyone started talking about us, and asking what happened, but not even I knew: we had been sisters. Others started talking badly about us and rumours spread about my friends and I…… I knew that Misty had said things. Maybe she wanted to be liked or whatever but, thankfully, we ended up patching things up in 8th and went to the same highschool for freshman year. I’m 18, a senior now, and I haven’t seen or talked to her since she went to West our sophmore year, but I hear she is happy with her long time boyfriend and that makes me happy! The truth about bullying is that while it’s happening, you don’t believe that you can ever possibly get through it BUT you have to. It’s a sad sad thing to let someone who isn’t worthy of your tears get you down. Just find those close friends and family members who mean the most to you, and you KNOW absolutely adore you. Remember: “The night is always the darkest before the dawn.”
    –Amelia Cremer

  21. I was bullied often, my folks told me everyday how beautiful I was and that they were just jealous. I started to believe it. So, to those whose shoes I’ve walked in, please know
    they are just jealous, you are a wonderful human, beautiful inside and out. Now just believe that with all that you have.

  22. Hi I’m Lau. The only thing that helped me was believing in myself and trust God with all my heart. When people, who I knew they love me someway, for some reason they hurt me as well. But loving myself more and feeling God with me all the time and more important knowing the I’m good enough and my opinion counts and stand still were my super power to survive. I don’t care what people think about me, I know what I am and that’s good.

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