What Are You Going To Do About It?

It’s very easy to crash your own pity party when something doesn’t go as planned or as hoped for. We know that in life, the rug is going to get pulled out from under our toes. Somebody is going to do something that makes us angry or upset. We are going to make choices that don’t serve us well, and we will end up paying the consequences. These things are inevitable. We can’t always control the negative things that happen in our lives, but what we can do is figure out how to pull ourselves back up, put the pieces back together, and move forward.

“Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions.” — Tony Robins

To me, this quote encourages us to acknowledge the things that aren’t working out in our favor, but only giving it a moment of our attention. Then, rather than dwelling on the negativity, we shift our focus, honing in on what we are going to do about it.

We all have that one friend who despises his or her job and complains about it nonstop. If they listened to Tony Robbins, they’d be proactive in finding a solution such as meeting with a recruiter, submitting applications elsewhere, or taking online courses required for a job they would find joy in. This is something we’re all guilty of at some point, for a variety of reasons.

Is there a problematic place in your world where you can shift your energy toward a solution? I’m giving myself a personal challenge to identify those situations and switch my focus to finding solutions. You should join me!

If you’re comfortable sharing your problems, I’d love for you to leave a comment addressing your negative situation, and the positive approach you can take to change it. Support each other, listen to each other, but most of all, encourage each other to be the best each of us can be.

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Comments 21

  1. Julianne, I like this quote a lot but need some help working on the solutions. I am not longer interested in my college degree and would like to persue school counseling or career advising instead. I also struggle with anxiety a lot. Solutions I am working on are seeing a therapist for my anxiety and to work on my own recovery every day. Working on solutions for my career is harder. Possible solutions would include going back to school to earn a degree in counseling, and move to an area where there are more jobs. I cannot afford to do this-especially having student loans from my undergrad degree. A solution to this is to work any job to save up money and be able to take classes and move. I work with career counselors to fix my resume and apply and follow up with jobs on a daily basis and while I have been to a few interviews-am not able to get hired. There are also very minimal jobs available where I live but no money to move. I would love advice from anyone. I feel like I am working on myself and looking for jobs everyday to work on solutions and it is not working out. Any ideas???

    1. Hi Isabella! I loved reading this. I feel like you are already moving in the right direction. Often times, realizing what you don’t want is a great way to see what you DO want! As for the anxiety, I’m wondering if changing your diet would help with that? Obviously I don’t know you, so you may be eating healthy already. I’m speaking from experience. I’m currently on a Whole 30 program and had to cut out sugar. It’s amazing how much that helped! Do you exercise? I also had a lot of pent up energy that needed released. Even walking to and from the park helped with that. As far as your job is concerned, are there any online programs you could take? Then you could continue to work and go to school. I’m not sure if you like to read or not, but I really enjoyed Wayne Dyer’s book, “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.” If that book is something you might be interested in, but feel you can’t afford it, please let me know. I would love to gift it to you. However, I would need to send you the kindle version because I am currently overseas. Good Luck on your journey! Sending good thoughts your way!

      1. Thank you so much for your reply, it means a lot! I have been working on an exercise program and eat fairly healthy but cutting out excess sugar could be helpful. Online classes could be an option but I really need to find a job so I can keep saving to be able to move to where better jobs are and to persue my career. I am working with career advisors and a job placement center but no luck so far. I will look into the book you suggested, thank you!

  2. I love this post! I just wrote about changing your negative thoughts into positive affirmations, but this advice takes it to the next level. It always helps the negative situation you’re in, if you’re focusing on the solution. Right now as I’m starting out as a healthy lifestyle blogger, I still have to make ends meet bartending. As much as it pains me to do this, I know I won’t be doing this forever, and that the flexibility of this job allows me to focus my attention on my true passion of spreading the word on living a healthy lifestyle. As always, thank you for your words of encouragement, Julianne.

    1. I started a blog just to keep me accountable while I completed the Whole 30 program, and it worked! I was also able to learn something new (creating a blog) and found out it was a lot fun as well ( : Good luck with your blogging adventures!

  3. You are so inspiring! You make my goals and dreams of being a professional Irish dancer, and a Physician assistant want to happen! There have been a lot of downs going on at home this past year, and reading something like this really brings my spirits up. I choose to do something about my problems and focus on me for once.

  4. My name is Anastasia clearly you don’t know me lol but I’m 17 and I just recently watched grease live (you SLAYED my life btw) and ever since then I just kept thinking about you and your life. So I went on YouTube and watched an interview (several tbh) you did and you were talking about how your life changed after going to see Tony Robbins and now you’re truly enjoying life and all this other stuff. I searched him up and watched a session of his “power of choice” is the exact one. I just got done watching it and he gave 5 steps of change and the 4th step is to get a role model and learn their strategies. And I read your blog and this is exactly what I need to do. I’m kinda in this pit. I have been for about 2 years now. I feel stuck and I can’t do anything to break loose. My father abused me in every way possible and finally I spoke up abt it and after all the cops and stuff I found myself doing everything I did in spite of him to prove him wrong. I lost track of what I actually love to do. So I just stopped doing it all. I don’t think our stories are close at all but you said during that interview that you kept doing things to prove and get acceptance from people. And that we have in common well at least we use to because you learned how to not be that way. And I want to too. All I want to do is help people with my talents and be a light but I want to do it for the right reasons not because of I want to prove something to my abusive family anyways, when he said role model I thought of you and that interview. And I have no clue if you’ll see this, let alone read it. But if you do, I was wondering If you can email me or something I just want to know how you did it I guess. My email is anastasiaelizabeth98@gmail.com my Twitter is a_dap14 just in case you want to make sure I’m not some creepy old weird person but great blog post. And you’re amazing and ily okay byeeee lmao

  5. I was a first grade teacher for ten years. I loved my students, my coworkers, and the job itself, but I didn’t think decisions were being made in the best interest of students (due to factors beyond our control). That didn’t set well with me and it caused me to be very unhappy in my job. I decided to quit, sell my house, and travel for a year. It was scary. I was unsure, but I knew I needed to make a change. I decided quitting my job would force me to find a new one. It’s been an awesome experience! Last year, I traveled to seven different countries and I have had so many cool experiences. It makes me happy, I decided to focus on a solution, instead of being fearful it wouldn’t work out. I am in the process of learning about myself, creating a blog, a bucket list, and trying to figure out how I can best be of service to others. I’m no longer interested in collecting a paycheck. I want to have a job I love, and I want it to make a difference in someone’s life. The funny thing is, I’ve been telling my friends I want to be a house sitter and/or dog sitter. They think I’m crazy, because how could I survive doing that? I’m not sure how I can make this happen financially, but I believe the Universe is always working out for my highest good (and everyone elses). I just discovered, “The Loved Dog,” and it lit me up from the inside-out. What a great story she has and what a great service she offers to others. That’s the kind of work I want to be a part of. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” I’ve been trying to decide how to incorporate my passions (service, teaching, learning, animals, etc.) and then I discover her. Perfect timing. I’m inspired, to say the least! I LOVE the quote that says, “What Consumes Your Mind, Controls Your Life.” I’m being very careful about what I focus on. Looking forward to hearing about everyone else’s journey’s! ( :

  6. My personal problem is that I would love to get a job at Disneyland Paris (this is the company I’m interested in, bringing joy, satisfaction and entertainment to families are what I’m looking for). However I may be invited each year for a casting session, the thing is that I’m never selected even if my foreign languages test went good, I’m still in the same position. So I emailed today the recruiter I met one week ago to have some feedbacks. This should enlighten me and I’ll use her advice to move forward if Disney is truly what I want to professionally (which it really is). In other words, to sum up the whole thing: I’d love to work on ‘that element’ I need to possess to make it next time at Disney!

    Ps: I’m also the young Grease Live fan who comments from time to time on your facebook page Julianne. I loved this adaptation and you as an artist. Hi to you from France 🙂

  7. My problem is just pure frustration! I am frustrated with the fact that I decided to save money and go to school at community college rather than going to a four year in the first place. In doing so I have given up having a real college experience(which I know sounds like a piddly issue), but now I feel like I take on adult responsibilities while my friends go around without a care in the world. I go to school, do homework, go to work, and repeat! I have never been a partier, that has never appealed to me, but seeing friends in a sorority or going out makes me feel like I am missing out. The plan was to transfer this year, but to get in somewhere good I have to stick it out for another. The thought alone of going through all this all over again is, frustrating! I feel like I have never done anything fun in my life, I feel like I have always put others first, I feel lonely, I feel, here it comes again, frustrated.
    To find a positive solution is difficult, to me at least. I could just give up the quest of going to a really great university and settle for something that is good, or I could identify that my issue is frustration, and that that is okay. It’s understandable that I am not 100% pleased with my current situation, but sitting around and dwelling on it is not doing me any good either. I can change my negative energy into something positive by saying that I am making a serious investment in my future, both financially and realistically. Staying another year would lower my student loans significantly, so while my friends worry about that I can actually live my life. Staying another year means I can get into some of the best schools in this country. Staying another means I can get the best possible grades and make myself and others proud. Staying another year means I can spend some more time with my mom while she switches careers. My time will come, just not now. While I wait I can fill the “void” by really focusing on school and taking up an activity that makes me happy, maybe ballroom dancing or horseback riding. I can take up an internship this summer, go on vacation. I will get through this I just need time.
    Thank you Jules for doing this activity!

    1. Hello Kashti! I was reading some comments and I saw yours and thought I’d respond. I’m 24, just graduated from UNLV. I went to a four year college I didn’t do the whole sorority thing. I worked 40 hours a week (5 days) and went to school the other 2 days. I felt like I missed out on the whole college experience too. Honestly you’re in a great position though. Anyway you can save money, do so. In the long run it pays off. Have fun with your friends who are in sororities. You obviously know that by staying another year you receive tons of benefits that you mentioned. I just wanted to let you know that I felt that way too before. Also, the grass is always greener on the other side. While I was paying my tuition, some of my other friends were saying they got their Associates Degree from a Community College nearby for less than half the price of my 4 year college tuition. So that made me think, why the freak didn’t I go to CSN first and then transfer? Lol. Your junior and senior year are the best anyways. So good luck!!!

      1. Thank you Christy! I think sometimes I overthink things and over exaggerate! I think you’re right it may not be the most exciting thing right now, but I still have two more years to make the most of my college experience and in the long run I will be better off, working and going to school really teaches you responsibility and discipline, whereas partying…haha! Thanks again!

  8. I am a terrified and exhilarated senior in high school! I am trying my best, with what I know, to decide if I should continue to play volleyball in college next year. I have been playing nonstop since the 7th grade, but haven’t picked up a ball since the end of my high school season this year, since I’ve been applying to many different schools and finally decided to go into nursing. My brother studies chemistry at Westminster and I have seen how much debt he has gone into after only 3 years, even with various track and academic scholarships. Nursing school is also much more demanding and I honestly don’t know if I will have enough time to devote as much time as I want to both my studies and volleyball. My past coaches have not answered my emails when I have asked for their advice, so I honestly feel very lost. I have invested so much of my love and life into this sport that I can not see myself not playing it. I think that I should contact the slcc coach, since I will save a TON of money by going there and it is a very good school to complete my generals at, but I have no one to turn to and have no clue where to turn. Please help me Jules!!

    1. Hi, Amy! I am also a senior in high school this year, and I have been having a similar problem. I’ve been involved with Drama Club since freshman year, have been on stage crew for five shows, and have stage managed two shows. My entire high school career has been dedicated to technical theatre. For a while I thought that I wanted to major in technical theatre because I didn’t want to give it up. I love what I do, but lately I’ve had a change of heart. I’ve been sick very much lately, and I haven’t been able to put as much time into stage managing my last senior show as much as I would like to. For a while I was fighting this. I’ve been going to rehearsals thinking I’d be able to last, but then wind up going home early, practically in tears, because I cannot physically handle the demands this job throws at me. I was not happy by this for a long time, but I began to look at this problem differently in the past few days. Instead of feeling guilty and angry with myself for not being at rehearsals, I started to tell myself that everything happens for a reason. Maybe there’s a reason why I’m sick during this show, and why I can’t be at rehearsals as much as I’d like to. Maybe there’s a different path for me (and I’ve had the pleasure of finding that other path, which is photography).

      My advice to you is to just go with the flow — follow your heart. If you know that you want to keep playing volleyball, if you love it so much that you can’t imagine life without it, then go and play volleyball. If you feel like maybe it’s time to follow a new path, and focus solely on your nursing education, follow that path.

      It can be hard to let the things you love doing go, but sometimes it’s necessary to grow as a person, and sometimes it’s worth fighting for.

      I don’t know if this helped you at all but I hope in some ways it has.
      Good luck on the rest of your senior year, and I wish you all the best in your future — that you find the right path for yourself.

      -Taylor Natkin

  9. Thank you for sharing this post! I use to think all negative and believed that I wasn’t worth anything, but then your positive energy made me think “Hey, I can do this also positive.” and my life changed. For now when I’m having negative thoughts I go work out; dance; run; walk with the dog… any kind of working out. It works, it clears your mind and seeing things the different way.

    If you’re seeing the things positive, you will get there. Even if everything is going upside down.

  10. Hi Jules, and also to everyone else 🙂 … I love this topic as I feel like, all I do is dwell on the problem and not find a solution cause I am too busy complaining about the problem. I would have to say my issue is taking in too much as to what people think of me. I have this bubbly, loud personality. You can always tell when I’m in the room. So I give off this feel like I am super confident, and I guess in some way I do put that front on. But lately I’ve heard things that have been said about me within my work place, and I know there are certain people out there that don’t like me. And that’s fine, I get it, we are all human. But the whole bitching side of things really gets to me. I know I shouldn’t care and I know that what they think of me is none of my business. But it still gets to me. I work with a group of girls who are very cliquey (they have actually been compared to the mean girls off the movie, Mean Girls). Once upon a time I was very close with them but then I started to back off a bit because all they wanted to do was to drink and go out every weekend! Every weekend was a new event. It was getting too much and I started hanging out with another girl who made me see that all they were doing were bringing me down. Soon I had a few personal issues started coming up and they started alienating me from their so called group. I seen that as a way out, which in a way, I was very happy about. But what shit me the most is that at work, when I’d have lunch with that one girl I started getting close with or if I’d be laughing with a group of people they don’t like – they’d approach me and ask what it was about and then shut me out again. I just don’t know how to take them!!! This week one of those girls is having her engagement party and I got an invite. I didn’t want to go generally because when they get intoxicated, they love to speak their mind and I feel I will get attacked. But I did tell her I’ll be there for a couple hours as the guy I am currently seeing plays pro rugby and it’s his first game of the season which he has asked for me to go to. I didn’t want to lie to her so I told her the truth and only today the whole lot of them started being mean and rude towards me at work. And I know it’s the fact that I won’t be there for the whole party. I don’t understand… Am I doing something wrong? Are they the ones with the negative energy towards me or is it all me? Am I reading too much into this? HELP!

    1. I don’t think you are doing anything wrong, you accepted to go to the party for a little while and if that’s not good enough then that’s their issue not yours!! They sound very clique and negative just smile be polite and talk to them when you have to but don’t make extra effort or try harder with them as they sound like they are taking advantage. Just do your own thing and they’ll either make the effort or go their own way!! Nothing wrong with being loud, I’m a bubbly confident gal but have lots of insecurities so get the putting on an act, as I do the same…. But nothing wrong with distancing yourself from people who make you doubt yourself or feel negative!!
      Chin up chest out smile and do what makes you happy and makes you feel good, don’t second guess people just go with your gut instinct xx

  11. Hey Jules, I can totally relate to this because, there will be days where I feel like I should had done more that what I did. Like doing my homework, studying for big exams or little quizzes, doing my chores, focusing in class, being more active, eating less portions of food, taking care of myself. I don’t complain about it because, you don’t have time for that. I am a very hardworking, determined girl, but I just feel like I put these very high expectations on myself and I end up doing half the work or not at all. It can definitely get me down and it gets me questioning about my work ethic and process. So I could use a little bit of advice.

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